sean_crawford

Before people can like you for who you are...

2006-03-13T06:17:25Z

Well, getting out of bed at 12:40 to make a post... I must have something on my mind, which, unsurprisingly, I do.

What is it that I have on my mind? I am not entirely sure, lets do some soul searching a mind exploring and see whats up. Well, I will do the soul searching, you people just get to read about it and post an opinion if you care to. And off we go!

So, I have to say, I was an utter and complete ass on Saturday night. Sadly, none of the people I was an ass to will get to read this, but thats okay, I personally wouldnt blame them if they never want to talk to me again. (on a completely unrelated note, I need a new computer chair with adjustable arms, if any of you are feeling generous) So, most of you, I would hope, think I am pretty good guy, I like to think I am not that much of an asshole, thought evreyone is from time to time. The simple fact is that I am terrible at dealing with new people, and thats what caused Saturday nights issues.

Why is that, though? I mean, I dont think I have reason or a need to impress people, and that is most defintly what I was trying (and failing) to do. Why would I need to impress these people? Didnt I say less then a week ago that people who dont like me for who I am can go fuck themselves? Why then would I be contradicting myself and trying to show off how good I am at being me (or, not being me in this case)? Wow, thats a lot of questions and not a lot of answers.

Digging further, I still cant find any reason that I would have a desire to impress others. The only possibe explination, and it shames me to admit this, is that my absoultly massive ego decided it was time to come out to play, and that is never a good thing, espically when alchohol his involved. (on yet another unrelated note, I dont think I should be drinking again for a while, at least until I get this shit figured out) Now I am person who has always proudly claimed I have a well controlled, if very large ego. That, in retrospect, has got to be the ultimate in contradiction, but hell, if you are going to contradict yourself, you might as well do it in the ultimate way. Anyway, the problem I have now with my ego is its had a lot of food to grow on lately, and not a lot to shrink it back. And I dont care who you are, if your ego starts growing too rapidly it will be a pain to get it back under control. What I mean by this is that I have been succeding at work so well, and not particularly failing at anything, that my ego is out of control now.

So how does this knowledge apply to what happened Saturday night? Simple, in retrospect anyway, when your ego is at that level it seems to you that evreyone you meet should recognize you are great, and they are just silly if they dont. Now, before anyone yells at me for how foolish stupid and fucked up that statement is, if I didnt realize that fact I niether feel guilty about my behaviour, nor would I be writing this, so please dont. This, obviously, does not make for a good first impression on people. In fact, it makes for a terrible one. So that was mistake number one, and the scary part is I dont think it was my biggest mistake from that night.

Next on my list, my mindset going into the situation. This, in and of itself, could have ruined the entire evening without me being egotistical, that just made things worse. So, what was it? I absoultly hate most social situations that involve more then 4 people, and that includes me. There is no good reason for this, its just a problem I seem to have. And that hatered has grown with each failed attempt,to the point that I natrually assume that I am not going to enjoy myself with a large group of people. Again, no good reason for it, its just how I am, and since this is my first time acknowledging it, I wont blow smoke about trying to change it. I will have to do something about it now, espicially since I am saying it on a public website :P. (another unrelated note, this is a good way for me to say things that I have to do something about, as I am generally willing to say I will do something to myself, and not follow up on it, but when a bunch of people read it it generally means that someone is going to remind me) So, that was for sure, my biggest mistake, but again, not my last one.

I am pretty sure I only have one more problem from Saturday that I need to get off my chest, but we will see what happens after I get through this. Unwillingness to see whats in front me or listen to what someone I trust is saying. I would have to say that I acknowledged I was being an ass no less then half a dozen times, but I didnt do anything about it. So there you go, that is another mistake I should not have made. Well... that's another painfull admission. Anyway, there is no good reason for this, yet again, so I am not even going to try to excuse myself for it. It is what it is and there is nothing I can do about it now (for that outing anyway).

So, what does all this mean. Well, in my last entry I made it clear that if people around me cannot accept me for who I am, then I dont want them around me. All this information and analysis of myself shows a flaw in that strategy. For people to understand and accept me for who I am, they must first meet me for who I am, which means...? Come on folks, the Subject line should be a dead give away here.

Before people can like you for who you are, you must first be who you are.

That seems like something so simple that I should have known that already, but as a human, I dont always realize what I should know when I should.

There is some good news from what happend Saturday night. My oversized ego has been taken down a couple notches, definitly healthy for me. A few more and it might even be normal sized again. But aside from that, not much in the way of good to take away from this.

Well, you live, you learn, you find faults in yourself and you do your best to rectify them. I would hope that I will be able to make amends at some point with those folks, as they treated me much better then I deserved, considering my behaviour. And if I dont get that chance, well, at least I may have hopefully learned something for when next I meet a new group of people.

Anyway, its getting late and I do have to work tomarrow, so I will sign off now.

Have a good one folks!

Sean

Fear of self, fear of direction...

2006-03-10T02:28:02Z

So... two and a half (approx.) Weeks since I last posted and the only complaint recieved to date (or wondering why I havent been around) comes from a person that has such a strong knack at pissing me off that its almost frightening (or is, depending on who you are).

In anycase, just for the hell of it, why do you, my readers, follow me as a I do some soul searching and ignore my guests and best friend. This ought to be fun I am sure.

It appears that I am starting to devolp a sense of... depression in my life, and that is never a good thing. I am known (at least I like to think I am) for saying I dont beleave in stress, and that is, for the most part, a true statement. A truer statement may be that I experience stress just as much as the next guy, but I care less about it. In anycase, this philoshpy seems to be taking it out of me, as my patience is exhausted within seconds these days, and I seem to care less and less about that as well.

This would not be such a bad thing, but with my tolerance for stress decreasing, it seems my volume of anger and rage is increasing, to scarier and scarier levels. In all honesty, I used to think I didnt even have a temper, let alone a violent one, but I will tell you this, a severly violent temper certainly kicked in tonight, violent enough to frighten me back to sense. And before anyone asks, you will not be getting an explination of what caused that anger, or the result of it. Suffice to say, it happened in private, and no person/critter was hurt.

The part that scares me more then anything about this is, I have no idea what is taking me in this direction. I must say, I am a control freak, and more then anything else I hate it when something about myself, or something that effects me, is outside of my control. So not only does this direction I seem to be moving in scare me, but it also angers me thereby compounding the issue. A sad thought, and one I dont like at all. Even more frustrating is my mantra of "If something bothers you, you might as well do something about it" Well this bothers me, and I have no idea what to do about it, aside from be angry at it.

I can only think of one thing that coincided with the beginings of this turn in my personalit. I started to work for RIM. It is a truly strange turn of events, all through grade school, junior high school, senior high school, and college I had no real over whelming drive to achieve. I mean, it was just school, who really cares about school? Its boring, and even when it costs a fortune, I have trouble bringing myself to push to more then 60% of the effort I could be putting into it. I mean, its not the real world, so who really gives a fucking shit about it?!? I know that I didnt, and still dont to be honest. Great, I have a piece of paper that says I know what I am doing, I will say one thing and one thing only about that piece of paper. It could be toilet paper for all I care, it means nothing to me, and as far as I am concerned it shouldnt mean anything to anyone else. I will tell you what matters to me, can I actually DO what that paper says I can do, am I actually good at anything. Cause if people will trust a piece of paper to tell them that, I will write one that says I am "Sean, God of all things, dispute my word and pay the price". Granted, thats going a little far, but I am sure you all get the point, paper means nothing, what I say about myself mean nothing, deeds are what matter, and thats what people should judge you by. Upon reflection, this philosphy in any form of schooling means that you honestly dont care, because if people cant measure you by what is right in front of their eyes, what you are obviously mentally capable of, then their opinions meen exactly... NOTHING.

Well then, some of you will observe there is a hole in my theory. Those of you who know the accomplishment of DnDFree will say that I worked my ass off for it, that I put my all into it, and it is something I should say proudly I did. Well, I beg to differ with this opinion. That project probably would have been finished in just the same way had I never laid a finger on it. Richard worked tirelessly, Otis never complained, and even Don worked 10 times harder then he did at anything else to see that project done. What did I do? I wrote reports, I convinced a couple people it could be done, I fired one of my best friends, and I offered input when it was requested. Thats all, nothing really impressive, I just did what anyone can do, and left it to run its course.

So, what changed when I started at RIM? I will tell you, one thing changed, one thought, one idea, one purpose that has been fore front in my mind since the day I started. "If you are not going to drive to be the best at what you do, then what is the fucking point in doing it?". I have adopted this theory, and it is my drive, my purpose, it is, for all intensive purposes, all I really care about. I scary thought, what the professional world can do to some personalities. Where would I draw the line on this objective? If I had to choose, would I be the best, or would I help a co-worker? Have I found out where to draw that line yet? I have no idea what the answers to these questions are. Worse then that, I am not even sure I actually care what the answers to those questions are. And to give an example of just how much it has changed me, my outlook, my behaviour and how people percieve me, check this out. Go out for a beer with a couple of my friends, the subject matter of the conversation does not even matter, and I say this "I am going to be a VP by the time I am thirty". Both of these people I am out with are older then I, but instead of laughing, or thinking I am just boasting, it is accepted that I will do exactly as I say. I also say I was among the top ten in my former position when I was promted, and I have already ascended to being a top indivudal in my new position, this also is accepted not as a boast, but as a statement of fact.

The point I am making is not that other people seem to take my word of things easily, nor that they happily accept me as a strong willed and determined indivdual, I am actually very happy about that. What is strange though is that in less then 12 months, I went from being a person of complete mediocrity and averageness to a strong willed, driven, powerfull personality, with near unquestionable confidence that I can do whatever the hell I say I am going to do, and no force on the planet is going to stop me. This change in personality as steadily driven my acceptance of mediocrity around me into oblivion. I desire to the best, I drive to be the best, and excpect the same out of the people around me. Look at the friends I have surronded myself with.

Jason, a person who could easily out do my achivements at RIM, and has already out done my achivements through school and many other parts of life. Not only that, but he is involved with a project that blows my mind, and has the potential to drive the next phase in the evouloution of technology. Now if thats not a person with drive, then I dont know who is. Not only that, but this man says he screwed up 4 years of his life, and he is my superior.

Marc, again, someone who can do things professionaly that I could never do, and he does it easily. Again, a person with the drive to achieve, and a person who hates failure even more then I do.

Joe, perhaps the only desktop rep I know who grasped the concepts I grasped faster then I did, and he does it without a care in the world.

These are three of my closet friends at work, and NONE of them consider what they can do an achievment, much like myself. Not only this, but I look down on people who complain about their postion in life, as far as I am concerned, "I can't" is an excuse for idiots and morons. There is no such thing as "I can't do it" fuck that as far as I am concerned, it is an excuse, nothing more, nothing less.

What does all that shite meen? It meens that I have changed so dramatically in less then a year, I cannot fathom a recognition of myself from 12 months ago. That is, truly, a scary admission to me.

All in all, if I countinue in the direction I am going, it is truly possible that I will make that VP position before I am 30, and if I countinue in the way I am going, nothing short of that will satisfy me. But one small part of me, the part that remains of the version that I was in school reminds me of one of my most powerful beliefs from then "If you cannot be satisfied with yourself for what you are, no achievement is going to make it so". A true conflict brewing, and I have no idea which side is more true. The drive to be the best is perhaps one of the greatest things I have going for me professionaly right now, but it is at the price of a steadily dwindling social life, and of alienating my family, my friends and all those around me. The knowledge that if I am not satisifed with myself now, there is nothing I can do that will make it so does not equate to that being the actual facts of my life. Which philosophy do I prefer, which should I follow, which suits me best. It is already becoming aparrent that I am not as easy going as I used to be, and I am harder and harder to be around. The fact that I find myself caring about that less and less is most defintly a bad sign, but I truly have any intrest in being anything less then the best?

I do not know the answer, and I get the feeling that it is going to make a huge diffrence in the evouloution of the world of Sean.

Fear of self, not worth it, fear of direction, foolish as far as I am concerned. Fear of being alone, at the top of my game, now that is something real. Fear of the rage that I just might lose control of, perhaps something to concern me. Fear of becoming unrecognizable as the person that evreyone seems to like... well, we cant have it all.

What do I care, I do what I want, I be who I want, and that will have to be enough for evreyone else. And for those that it isnt enough for... Go Fuck Yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Week... ALREADY?!?

2006-02-20T01:33:52Z

Wow, I must say, the days and weeks seem to be flying by! Not a complainint, by the way, just a statement of fact that things seem to be happening pretty fast these days.

All in all, I am thinking this was a good week. Went to two parties (one of which had absoultly no planning at all) and got through another week of hard (yeah right) work. I am thinking I am going to have to start doing more though. Anyway, on to the highlights of the week.

Monday through Wednesday were all pretty dull, the standard not wanting to be at work during the begining of the week was there in full force, but aside from that nothing worthy of note. Still enjoying my job, dont get me wrong, but sometimes I wish I could reach through the phone and beat the living shit out of the person on the other end. But hell, if they werent as stupid as they were, I would be out of a job. So yeah, that about sums up the beginning of the week. Thursday was cool, went to a IRT Night Out, which means all of us from the diffrent server support group's went out, ate food, drank beer, played pool, watched the olympics and generally had a good time. I didnt actually drink Beer that night, but whatever, I still had a good time, and thats what it was for.

Friday went by in short order and then... HORAY! Supposed to go back to Toronto to get my passport dealt with. Which, it turns out, I couldnt do. So yeah... moving on. Was supposed to go to TO the next day, but for some reason I ended up sleeping until noonish. So yeah, not Toronto this weekend. The cool thing is I got an email back from Megan, and for those of you who dont know what the hell I am talking about, let me rewind a little... well... a lot. Anyway, when I was living in Oakville (about 8 years ago now) we went and visited my Aunt and Uncle in Castleman (near Ottawa for those of you who don't know) pretty regularly. Being as I found the whole thing very boring, my sister and I would hang out with the neighbourghs. They had two daughters, one of which is two years my senior, the other (Megan) is two years my junior. In anycase, we moved away and I havent seen them since. However, over Christmas I realized that Megan's family had moved to the Kitchiner/Waterloo area. So I figured, what the hell, lets find out if I can get in touch with them. So, after minimal effort on my part (and a lot more from my family, GO FAMILY!!!) I got an email address for Megan. Sweet. So I emailed her last Monday night and she just got back to me yesterday, which is all cool. So, we exchanged emails back and forth and she sent me her cell phone number. So I figured, what the hell, might as well call her. So I called, we chatted for a good hour or two, though I rambled quite a bit, as I tend to do. In anycase, we agreed we should definitly meet up at some point. I am thinking this is a good thing, maybe I will actually get out of the apartment for an hour or two without someone else asking me along!

Anyway, I was and am pretty happy about that. Saturday also marked my second party for the week. And I use the term loosly in this case. I asked Jay if he would like to go out for a beer last night, so we ended up going back to his place since niether of us can really afford to go drinking in a bar right now. He and I basially crushed a 24 of Rickards Red between us, plus a couple bootles of Hieniken and I had an Export sometime of the course of the evening. We did have other people there too, but they werent really drinking. We had a great time, we watched olympics, we watched 24 (the series, not the case of beer), we listned to music, we sang. All in all it was a great time. Afterwards I also slept really well. The good news, not even a touch of a hang over when I got up this morning. Which kicks de ass don't ya know?!?

Whatever, its not something I do often, so we just had a lot of laughs.

I am pretty sure that sums up my week in a nutshell, so yeah, I guess I will sign off now. No philosophical thoughts for you this time around folks, so just chill. Though I do have a question for you

You see, during the festivies on Saturday night it was decided I need a nick name (dont ask me, I dont know why) and I am cool with that of course. But no one can think of a nick name for me. SO here is my question, what do YOU think my nickname should be? Just so you know, I will tell you a couple of the ones we have.

We have Marc, who is also known as "Frenchy" or "The Frenchman"
We have Gerald, a.k.a "The General"
We have Jason, a.k.a "Jay" or "Heffa" (dont ask, no idea where that came from)

Me, I dont have a name, aside from Sean of course.

In anycase, thats it for tonight. Go and have some fun folks and I will see you here next week!

Peace!
Sean

Power of Music!

2006-02-13T00:10:50Z

Before I get to todays subject line, lets do the brief synopsis of what happened over the course of this past week, as it is something that I have been somewhat neglecting doing.

So, though this past week was reletivly un-eventfull, I do have some short stories to tell (these are often the best kind, as if you dont like them you dont have to tolerate it for long). First off, Monday's/Thursday's trip to Toronto. Now that was a debocal (no, I cannot spell that word, but I love that word sooooooo much, its such a great word). So, since Mom wasnt feeling well, and the weather was terrible, she didnt want to make the trip all the way here to the 'loo. I honestly can't say I blame her, I wouldnt want to drive in that weather and I am indestuctable (what? you didnt know that all 21 year old males are immortal and indestructable? tsk tsk.) so, thats cool, I said I would take the bus, or the train and I would get Dad to pick me up from the GO station in Whitby. This seemed like a good plan at the time. It was not. Long story short (I said it was a short story, I didn't say it started out that way) I decide to take the train, which would have gotten me into Whitby around 11:30 or 12:00. I arrived at about 2 in the morning. Big thanks goes out to Dad for waiting up for me and making sure I got safely in (and for the ride). This pretty much set the tone for what happend for the rest of the trip. I, in short, did not get ANYTHING done that I had wanted to do. Though I did finally get my health card renewed, so that works out well.

Next short story for the week begins with a big thanks going out to Mom! (Sweet, got a thanks in to both parents with the same post!!!) To end my trip to Toronto I obviously had to get back to the 'loo. How does one go about doing that? By begging a ride from my parents of course. Unfortantly in this case, they didnt want to drive. SO, thinking I would make a smart ass comment about that I say to Mom "Just let me borrow the car and I will bring it back on Saturday" and, about 45 minutes later, she told me sure. This was extreamly convient for me, so sweetness and I had a car for most of the week. Now that was nice. Oddly enough, I still walked to work, I guess there is a part of me that is fighting the losing battle of keeping me in some kind of devent physical condition.

So, no more stories until Friday Night (I know, it looks like I am trying to make my life seem exciting or something, I'm not, honest). So Friday night there was a plan brewing for the guys to go out to the bar for some drinks and just to have some fun (remember 2 weeks ago, I told you I have a life and a social circle, here is some proof!!! HAH!!! VICTORY!!!). So, the plan was to meet at the local bar at about 8ish. All is good with that, but I got off at 6, so I went home first. Then I lost track of time working on some stuff, and then I find out that I am running late. Just great. So, I headed out and hiked to the bar (yes I had a car, but I was planning on drinking, so no driving for me) I didnt arrive that late so it worked out all right. Ordered and drank my beer, then we find out that two of our buddies need to head out (thus ensued a good 45 minutes of hecking that they should stay, during the first 10 of which I finished off my beer, this is an important factoid for later) In anycase, it becomes decided that they will head home and the rest of us (only three, as a couple guys couldnt make it) would head back to my friend Jayson's place to watch the Opening Ceremonies. Here is the situation. Jayson (who does have his car there) is just finishing off his third beer, Joe (who just arrived about 10 minutes ago) Decided to down the beer he ordered in about 30 seconds flat, and there is Me, who finished my beer about 3 quarters of an hour ago. This would have been an easy descision, I would have driven Jay's car back to his place (with the required stop at the beer store) since I had had the least to drink. Only problem is, I only have a G2. Though I am a decent driver and it is unlikely that I will get pulled over, Jay is cursed with some seriously bad luck for that sort of thing, so odds are we will get pulled over. In anycase, after much delibiration (during which time evrey possible driver for Jay's car was considered) it was decided it was better to risk Jay's luck and have the person who had drank the least amount the longest time ago drive Jay's car. Which, it turns out, was a good idea, since we passed 3 police cars that I noticed on the way back to Jay's apartment. So we arrive at Jay's and we watched the opening ceremonies (there are some intervening moments here, but really no important information happend during those moments). The Opening Ceremines had been recoreded earlier by Jay, since we were working when they were on (well, not all of us) But in anycase, the damn CBC went over their time slot and we missed the lighting of the torch. This was greeted by much annoyance as a collective, which was then followed by drinking and a comedy set by Dane Cook to make us feel better, which it did. So yeah, thats that story (so yea, it wasn't short, piss off, its my journal I didnt say ALL the stories were short)

Those three things basically summed up the excitement of my week, yes there were some entertaining events on Saturday, but nothing really worthy of note. And besides, if you want to know, you can comment and ask!

Alrighty, now that you are all bored with stories about my oh so interesting life, how about something on the subject line eh? Alrighty, I did actually have a reason for choosing the subject line in this case, so without further rambling, on to the main ramblings!!!

In actual fact, I have always thought that Music is a very powerfull meduim of communication, I mean, it sounds so much more better then listening to someone drone on about whatever it is they are droneing on about (or, in my case, typing on about) and it can also evoke (invoke? I am not sure if I am using the right word) so many diffrent feelings in people, and I swear not one person feels excactly the same or takes away the same meaning from a single song. This fact, of course, has been degraded of late with the whole... whats the word I am looking for... meaningnessless? (not a word, but its my journal, so I can invent it) of a lot of music of late. Maybe it's because I am getting old, but for the life of me, I cannot find a meaning in most pop-culture music of late. Sure it has that whole tean agnst (spelling, I know) thing going for it, and that whole... I dont know... rebellious, no one understands me... thing... In case you havent caught on, I dont place a lot of faith in that type of bull shit to have a deeper meaning then being able to sell CD's and tickets to concerts. Now, dont take this to mean that I dont LIKE main stream music, in fact I find most of it quite good (except country, country is kinda like the devil, only not as evil and insedious and well... you know, I BELEIVE that country exists (might have something to do with the fact that I have to suffer through it often enough)). I do infact like main stream music quite a bit. For example, Green Day - American Idiot. Great song, very popular, and if you want to hear it, or even if you dont, it sends a pretty clear meaning. I am not going to go into what the meaning is, thats for evreyone to decide for themselves. Another good song, Bryan Adams - Summer of '69. You people cant tell me you think thats a bad song, if you do, you dont have any taste whatsoever in my opinion (you probably like Country though (just as an aside, I dont think people who like country dont have taste, I just dont agree with them)). And if you want to listen to that song, I personally take some meaning away from it. In anycase, what I am saying is that music, with or without lyrics, can leave you feeling happier or sadder then you were before, it can calm frayed nerves, it can fray calm nerves. It doesnt even need to have lyrics. If you want an example of that, try getting your hands on a movie without the music added to the background, at any point. Make sure it is a movie you have seen before. Watch that movie without the accompanying music and see if you like nearly as much. Find out if the moments of suspense have as much suspense. I would bet that most of you will find the movie is not quite as good, that something is just plain missing.

Music is so powerfull in fact, that many people I know will get home and just turn on some music, sit back and listen (hell, I do it myself, I find it helps me think or, if needed, cool down from a frustrating day). And it doesnt matter what I listen to either. Hoenstly, as long as it is a style of music I like and it is done well, then I will enjoy it.

So, all that is well and good you might be saying, but why do I choose to bring it up in my journal? Because I can! (I actually do have a reason, read the next line if you want to know)

I was trying to crash Friday night/Saturday morning when I got home and I couldnt sleep, so I turned on some music and read for a while. The fact that I was exhausted basically made me fall asleep almost right away, but I forgot to turn off the music (or fell asleep with it turned on, whichever you prefer). When I woke up, the music was still playing. A really good song to, one that always brings a smile to my face, and as always, it brought a smile to my face. This set the tone for the entire day. I was in a good mood the whole time, and nothing was going to phase me. Sure, I got cut off 6 times on the way to Whitby to return my Mom's car, but whatever, nothing I can do about it so there is no sense in getting angry about it. Sure, I was 2 hours later then I wanted to be. Meh, whatever, thats life sometimes. All in all, I had a good day, with a smile on my face almost the entire time. This is a power that music has. I woke up listening to what I think is a great song, and I had a great day. I have never woke up to watch TV and have the same thing happen (even if it my favrite episode of my favrite TV show). I have never had that happen when I am excited about something I am doing that day (no matter how cool, unique or how much braging rights I am going to get for it). The only time that happens it when I wake up to the notes of one of my favrite tunes. Thats the power that music has with me. It can lift my spirits when I am down, it can keep my happy when I already am. It can suit any moment, no matter the joy or the pain, and it can carry a message to me that no one else sees. How many other forms of communication can have that said about them. The Written Word is just what is on the page, the Spoken Word is just noises on the wind (though it can often carry great meaning with a lot of people, for example rememeber this one "We have nothing to fear but fear itself" or "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing" great quotes, but thats for another post at another time). The great thing about music over other forms of communication, they are what they are, music is often what it is to YOU, and you, and you, and you, and the guy on your left, and the woman on your right, the window washer, the CEO, and any of millions of other people. Sure, not all of them like it (I bet you at least one of them likes Country) but hell, it means something diffrent to each and every one of them. Now thats saying something. Thats the power that music has that, to my mind, no other form of communication has. And that is something that I hope to never to see die (unless it's in Country format, then I wont mind so much (for those of you who like country I am not planning it's demise, I am Immortal and Indusctrable after all, so I will out live it)).

Anyway, I think thats enough rambling for tonight. I was kinda disappointed about the lack of comments to my last post, I guess you all missed it since it was on monday. Well you dont get the excuse this time!!! HAH!

Well, thats all folks!!! Have fun, and remember, enjoy the tunes, whatever you prefer them to be (yes, even country if thats what floats your boat).

Sean

What?!? Oh, you want to know what song made me smile all day long was? Well, let me think... I suppose I could tell you... Tell you what, it was in The Golden Standard. A collection of music that my friend Jayson Barrett put together, and did an amazing job I must say. That should narrow it down... Oh, right, I suppose you want to know whats in it... Well, there are 155 tracks, and something like 100 diffrent artists, so I dont feel like typing it all out. Tell you one thing though, it wasnt Elvis.

Delayed Postage!!!

2006-02-06T17:06:04Z

Hi Folks! I missed last night, so since I am sitting at work waiting for a call at the moment, I thought I would let you all know that I am still alive.

But why did I miss a post you ask?!? Why oh why would I do such a thing? CAUSE IT WAS SUPERBOWL SUNDAY AND I WAS BUSY!!!!!! Silly people, honestly, don't you people stay up to date on these things. Anyway, on to the events of last week.

Not too much happened. Though I must say Saturday and Sunday were both good days (surprisingly, since I was working) but before I get to that, I want to talk about Thursday. Thursday was a bad day (also surprising, since I had that day off)

Anyway, as most of you probably know (or maybe don't, but thats okay too) Health Cards in Ontario need to be renewed evrey 5 years, becuase they decided to put a picture on the damn things. This is the root cause of a very annoying Thursday. In anycase, my Health Card expired in November, and I completely forgot about it. So, Thursday I figured I better get that dealth with. What a Fiasco that was, a Debocal even (no I have no idea how to spell that word, but I love it anyway). So I figure, first order of business, figure out where I have to go and what hours they are open. The conversation went something like this when I called the Ministry of Health:

Me: Can you tell me where there is a Ministry of Health office in Kitchner\Waterloo area that I can have my health card renewed at?
Ministry Moron (here after referred to as MM): Yes.
Me: ... Uhhh, where is it?
MM: Oh, one second let me check (typing and checking of things in the background) 1400 Weber St.
Me: Thank you, now, what do I need to bring with me to have a health card issued?
MM: (sometime in the middle of my sentance) *click*

A little annoyed at this point, I call back the ministry of health.

Me: Hello, I was just speaking to someone and got disconnected, I was wondering what I would need to bring with me to have a health card issued?
Ministry Moron 2 (Here after refferred to as MM2, though I refuse to beleave there are two iditots like this working for the ministry of health, so lets assume this is the same guy): *lists of a bunch of diffrent proof's I can bring*, Is there anything else?
Me: Can you tell me the hours the office at 1400 Weber St. have for today?
MM2: Yes.
Me: ... And those hours would be?
MM2: Oh, let me check... 8-5:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday (please note I am calling on thursday morning)
Me: ... What about Thursday?
MM2: Yes, I have those hours too.
Me: ... Those are the hours I asked for.
MM2: Oh, yes, sorry, 8-5
Me: Thank You. *hang up the phone*

At this point I was kinda miffed, I figure that this just didnt make sense, but I have a couple things to do, so I put it out of my mind and go to start some laundry (so I wont smell stinky when I go get my health card).

So, 3 or 3:30 rolls around and I figure, alright I better get going to the Ministry of Health office. I call up the cab and around 3:45 It arrives. I asked the driver to take me to the Ministry of Health office at 1400 Weber St. and do you know what he says to me?!? "There is no Ministry of Health office there..." So great, just bloody great. I go back upstairs and check the internet to confirm the address. And Yes, it is at 1400 Weber St. Wonderfull. So I call the Ministry of Health again to have them confirm this fact and what do they tell me? Yes, it is there, and it closed 10 minutes ago.

So yeah, still havent fixed my health card.

In anycase, nothing else really eventfull this past week. I got my new cards from the latest Magic Set (yay, I am a geak!!! W00T!!!) and I built a new deck for myself. That was the highlight of Saturday. It was a good day, I always enjoy getting new cards, comming up with new ideas and trying them out. Its just half the fun though, cause after you try a new idea, you build on it, alter it, improve it until its just what you want. Then you play it some more, find its weaknesses and keep going with the improvements. Its a never ending, countiuously amusing, excellent source of fun.

As for Sunday all I have to say is... 65" HDTV + Superbowl + Friends = ONE KICK ASS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that, as they say, is that!

Have a good one folks, and as todays post shows, a break in tradition is not a bad thing so my task for you this week is to break a tradition of some kind. No go forth my evil minions of tradtion breaking, go forth and break those traditions!!!!

Sean

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Pizza

2006-01-30T04:19:10Z

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Here I sit, reflecting once again on the week gone past. Eating Pizza and Choclate Chip cookies, listening to "The Golden Standard" (a rather kick ass collection of music put together by my friend Jay), all in all, all is well with the world this evening... And thats about all there is to report for the week. The world did not end, it just is.

I must say, though I did tell you all that my life is not all that interesting, this week was exceptionally slow. Work was the same as always, friends are still friends... non-friends at still... well... not friends, and everything in between remains unchanged.

So, this being the case, what to talk about you might be wondering, why even bother posting at all?!? Well... cause... I wanna, so I am gonna, and none of you can stop me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>_>...
<_<...
V_V...

K, that was silly, moving forward.

All things considered this was not an overly bad week, but it is still kinda dull to report on. So, in order to keep things interesting lets find a topic to discuss...

*stands*

*paces*

*sits*

Well, nothing comes to mind, any thoughts from any of you?!? To bad your answers will only come after I post this... Well, lets go at it from this direction... What DIDN'T happen this week that I would have liked to have happend...

*stands*

*paces*

*sits*

HERE WE GO!!!! Lets do This!!! I have it!!!!

... Ariane, that is the subject that comes to mind, its not what I set off to think about, but thats the way of things some of the time!

So, first things first, you must be wondering why, after breaking up with her nearly a year ago and not remembering the contents of most of the conversations we have had since, why would this topic be comming up now? Well, if you sit still I will tell you! Ariane called us up yesterday, which is not all that unusual, seeing as Don and she seem to maintain an cordial relationship and I honestly dont give half a shit if she calls or not. Being the one who picked up the phone, I did the standard small talk thanks for calling shite and handed the phone off to Don.

Later on, Don handed the phone back. This, also, was not entirely unusual, if not really the norm either. So, Ariane seemed to want to talk about something important to her. I proceded to amuse myself by trying to keep her distracted from it for as long as possible, which I must say I did very well! Anyway, the subject matter finally rolled around, and it took forever for her to say it too (partially my fault I must say, but still... FOCUS PEOPLE!!!!) Anyway, apparently She and Stacy are planning to move to the Kitchner/Waterloo area. Whatever, again I dont really give half a shit, and even if I did I have no right to tell her where she can and cant go (aside from inside my own humble abode, but thats diffrent). Then we talk about the fact that I have seemed awkward talking to her ever since we broke up...

<_<
>_>

REAAAAAAALLLLLLY?!? I don't understand?!? Why would I be awkward around a person who moved to live with me for a few months and I then sent her away?!? Nooooooo, I wouldn't be awkward around that person at all!!!! *insert sarcastic tone of your choosing*

Anyway, she feels we should still be friends, which I did suggest, so I can't really argue with it. Anyway, she didnt want to be awkward. SO whatever, I applied my friends "ex-Girlfriend rule" Which goes as follows:
Take the time you were together, divide it by 2 and the figure you come up with is the amount of time you should spend apart before you are able to carry on an effective, adult conversation together without at least one of you feeling awkward about something at some point.
Following this rule, I have exceeded that time frame, and should be able to have an adult conversation with Ariane at this point. Taking this and applying the evidence I had at hand (the conversation we were having at the time) I made the conclusion that this would be acceptable to me.

Next came up the point of how a friendship works. This reproved to me that I made the right choice in ending our relationship. Personally, I consider people that I was friends with and havent spoken to in over a decade (though I dont have any friends that I havent spoken to in THAT long, its not the point of the matter) to still be friends. The fact that we havent spoken to each other doesnt really mean that much to me, it just means we will have that much more to talk about the next time we meet. Ariane on the other hand seems to feel that contact is very important to maintaining a friendship. In fact, the way it sounded to me, if I wanted to maintain a friendship with her, I would have to put effort into contacting her regularly (or at least some degree of often). This, in my mind, sent up the following flags in my mind:
1. "BULL SHIT!!!"
2. "FUCK THAT SHIT!!!"
3. *Siren's and Flashing Red Lights*
4. "WHAT THE FUCK HAS SHE BEEN SMOKING?!?"
5. "SHE CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS!!!"
6. "Damn... She IS serious"

Though they did not nessicarily appear in that order, they did all appear. Now before I proceed, I want to make it clear, both opinions probably do have merit, but I am both to stubborn and to satisifed about the way I am to change it for anyone except myself. This is not to say that my opinion is the only correct one, it is to say that I feel it is the correct one for me, and I havent seen anything that would change that. All in all, this all told me that our personalities are not all that compatible, which is fine, I can maintain a friendship with that kind of person, but could I happily maintain an intimate relationship with that same person... very probably not. Hence, my orignal choice of ending our relationship was re-enforeced. Also, about this friendship that Ariane would like to maintain, we will see how it goes, I like to think I am open minded and easy to get along with, so it shouldnt be to hard to do.

There is other content to the conversation that I could speak further on, but it would either annoy me, annoy you, or end me up talking in circles, so whatever to all of that.

And in answer to the obvious question, what does this all have to do with pizza.... It's my journal, and I never said that the subject had to be related to the content.... SO THERE!!! I WIN!!! VICTORY FOR ME!!! (it is more then likely the fact that I was actually eating pizza when I started writing that resulted in the subject line, but thats still not the point!!!)

Later Folks! And dont forget to have fun, no matter what you are doing. The reason you ask?!? Cause it makes it worth doing of course!!!!

Sean

G33KN3$$ 1N T|-|3 3XT3/-\R3M3!!!

2006-01-23T04:19:12Z

I would like to begin todays post with proof of the subject line (GEEKNESS IN THE EXTREAME!!! for those of you who missed it)

G33K K1NG (XUBR)
Enchantment
G33K K1NG comes into play with X G33K counters on it

Whenever you play a Red spell, add a G33K counter to G33K KING
Whenever you play a Blue spell, add a G33K counter to G33K KING
Whenever you play a Black spell, add a G33K counter to G33K KING

Whenever an opponent plays a Red spell, remove a G33K counter from G33K KING
Whenever an opponent plays a Blue spell, remove a G33K counter from G33K KING
Whenever an opponent plays a Black spell, remove a G33K counter from G33K KING

When the number of G33K counters on G33K K1NG is greater then your life total, you win the game.

Those of you who don't know what all that meant, bow down to my supreame G33KYN3$$!!!!!! For those if you who know what that meant, no comments about the fact that all that would never fit on a card, or the fact that I hate insta win cards. This is my journal, I can do what I like!!!!

In anycase, for those of you who havent guessed by now, what I just wrote was a completely rediculous Magic card, and it was written because I just attended Guildpact Pre-Release weekend and it was FUCKING AWESOME!!!! In short, my passion for the game of Magic has been rekindled, I am psyched to see what I can do in the new set, what it can do to my old decks and, in short, I had a fcuking great time!!!! (no that was not a typo, I did it on purpose) If you want further proof of how much of a geek I am, listen to the sequence of events for my weekend!

Friday Night: Go to "Underworld: Evoloution" (excellent movie, for anyone who wasnt planning on seeing it, I highly recomend it. And thats not just because Kate Beckinsale wear's skin tight latex for the duration of the movie) With the guys. Them being, in this case, Don, Richard and Myself. For those of you who dont know, the old crew. After the movie, have supper and get home early. Early? you might ask yourself at this point. On a Friday night, you must be thinking, there are plenty of things that three guys can find to do. Nope, I have Pre the next day, and so does Don. Its time to crash early!!!

Saturday: Get up at 5:20am. Thats right, I said AM!!! And again, you must being questioning this. But, it is pre-release morning my friends, time to get there early, get in as much play and trade and magic talk as is humanly possible over the course of the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wont go into it and bore all of you with the details of the day. But I will put it plainly. From 6am to 9pm I lived and breathed Magic, I traded magic, I got sustanence from magic, and I was maintained and energized by MAGIC!!!! Thats right folks, more then 12 hours straght of Magic. Running that entire time off 1 bagel, 1 large double double (Tim Hortons Coffe rocks, btw) and 1 bottle of pepsi. Leaving Pre, I am of course hungry, as were we all (this time being Greg, Don and Myself). So we stop at Swiss Chalet for a light repast (like that actually is true!!! HA!!!) And then it is off home. What do we do at this point. Surely we have had enough of Magic for the day you must think. H3LL N0!!!!!!!! First order of business, break out the rares and sort the spoiles of the day!!!! DAMN RIGHT!!!! A further 2 hours of Magic (by estimate, and remember, time fly's when you are having fun) and it is time for bed. All in all, I would guess nearly 17 hours of Magic in some way or another in less then a 24 hour period. Still not G33K you say? Well read on McDuff, as Sunday will prove it to you!!!

Sunday: Get up, and all would seem normal and non-G33K. Riiight, like thats accurate!!!!! So, first order of the day? That's right, fix up Mom's Comp for her. Hell Yeeeah!!!! This shortly followed by breakfast, nothing overly G33K yet, but you wait. So we see Greg off and the day moves on, sadly one G33K short. And next comes, teaching Mom to useher new DVD-Bunrer, a task I left to Don, as he is a better teacher then I, and I wasnt in the mood to be doing it anyway. Next up, we head back home. Take care of some general tasks that were much easier to do when my mother is here with the car. So far, I am sure, you are all disappointed, where is this proof I promised?!? Well, here it comes, so brace yourself!!! Here it comes, First order of business when I get in. SIGN INTO WoW!!!! Thats right folks, this man doesnt waste his time taking a leak, eating food, or any of these other such things. HE PLAYS COMPUTER GAMES!!! This is not enough in and of itself, since the other Anti-Social G33K's were being lazy and taking to long for me, I sign off WoW. The G33K activities, you would think, will end there. But NO!!! When Computer gaming fails, there is always.... come on, you know what it is.... come on, take a guess.... please? You Guessed it (at least you did if you are bright) MAGIC!!!!!!!! What do I do when I cant play WoW, I whip out the cards and the decks and do some deck construction work. G33K activity number 2 for the day. But wait! There's more!!! Deck work can only last so long, I come back to my room to do what... Maybe play WoW... Maybe actually talk to people... HELLS NO!!! What does this man do when he is just looking for random things to do?!? HE READS THE LATEST HARDWARE STATS!!! HELLS YES!!! This guy starts reading up on the latest vid cards, processing stats, hardware experimentations, mother board releases, software releases!!! DAMN STRAIGHT!!! Who needs to go out of their way to find a social circle when you can find out how many teraflops the latest achievment in Paralell Processing put out damn it!!! And that my friends is G33K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, now that I have got into the details of my seriously geeky weekend, I would like to clarify a few things:

I do NOT live in a basement
I do have a strong social circle and group of friends here
I do go out on a regular basis, often 2 or 3 times a week
I do NOT live of Coffe and Snack food
I CAN cook for myself (though I am often to lazy to do so)

So maybe I am not the perfect G33K, but thats okay. There is alway's G33K K1NG for XUBR!!! Its an Enchantment, and its part of my "Game of Life"!!! So thats all there is to it!!! (and for those of you who are somewhat up to date on Magic and know the only Colours are Black, Blue, Green, Red and White and are wondering what the hell U stands for... ITS BLUE YOU FOOLS!!! B was obviously already taken for Black, do you think we didnt know none of the colours started with U!!! What's that, why not just use Bu or some such? Well, thats an extra key stroke of course!!! Didn't you know one of the G33K subclasses is Lazy?!? All must be represented!!! We arent going DnD style and kicking the crap out of one class with another just because we can!!! Didn't you know that we G33K's like equality!!! I mean seriously, if we didnt want people to have equal access to our domain. Do you think this would have been written in plain English?!? Hells No!!! It would have been in L33T!!! Shite people!!! If we didnt want equaulity, do you think Windows would have ever been permitted to exist!!! Its such a peice of crap its an embaressment to G33K's evreywhere, but even a trainged gerbal can use it, and thus, all are welcome in the domain of G33K. Just dont try to be one of the G33K K1NG's, cause I am not even that good, and many would fail in the task agaisnt me. Consider me a guard along the way if you like. Your first task will be to figure out what I meant by that. And on that note I will end this UBER parenthetical, only G33K's are alowd to go this long in a parenthetical in my journal, btw!!!)

Alright folks! I again didnt get pic's of Sushi for you, but swing by Don's journal to see them if you like, I am pretty sure they are in there somewhere. I would tell you all about the rest of my week, but it wasnt nearly as exciting, so it can be left out! So I guess this is the end of that!!!

Remember, tell stories, have fun, and whenever possible, do it G33K STYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Later Folks!!!!

Sean

Another week... :P

2006-01-16T02:43:26Z

So, what has happend recently you might ask, eh? Was there another interesting week full of twists and turns for us all to enjoy and chat about?

Well.... Hope you werent thinking that, cause you will be disappointed. This was, for lack of a better term, a "Standard Sean Week". For those of you who didnt guess, this is about as normal a week as they come. That said, if this stays the norm, I will be quite pleased.

All in all, I did have a good week, nothing really major happended. I am more comfortable in my new role of course, which is a good thing, it makes work a lot less stressfull, but it was not wholly unexpected. Afterall, this is the sort of thing that I am trained to do. In any case, I am happy to be settling in (even if I still can't spell :P).

Personal life is still about the same, though that also is not unexpected, seeing as I am not putting effort into changing it. I have my friends that I hang out with (Jayson and Marc mostly) I have Don to chill with, and thats about it... Other then that, Nothing really special tends to happen in my personal life. I am sure at some point I will actually do something about that, but whatever, for now I dont really care.

Interesting achievments of the week are also few and far between. I did get LimeWire for myself, and I have to say, its very fast for downloads. Sure it set me back 20$ but whatever, it works and I wanted it. I can afford such things these days. I installed it earlier this week and have found that it works much better then any program I have ever used in the past. If you dont know what it is, I highly suggest looking it up!

There is one interesting story of the week, so I guess I should let you all in on that. So, I got out Sunday night (tonight) for dinner with Marc and Jay, we decided we would check out the Jack Astor's in town for something a little diffrent then our normal dinner outing (which happens once or twice a month, usally followed by going to the bar). Anyway, we got there and were told there was a 20 minute wait time. None of us really minded all that much, since we werent STARVING or anything like that. We sat in the bar to wait, but both Jay and I noticed that most of the tables in the place seemed empty. Kinda annoyed about that we ordered drinks for while we waited. Shortly after we asked the bartender for menu's, as we had been told that we could just eat in the bar if we wanted to. But no, the bartender said that there was a hold up in the Kitchen and that is why we hadnt been seated. Okay, so whatever, he brought the menu's over so we could decide what we wanted while we waited. At the same time he delivers our drinks, I give him a 20 in return. Just so you are all aware, the drinks only cost 12. Anyway, 10 or 15 minutes later our names come up and we are seated. Once we sit down I realize that I had never gotten any change for the drinks we bought in the bar. Now I dont want to seem cheap, but an 8 dollar tip on 12 dollars of drinks, thats just a little ridculous. Since we had already decieded what we wanted, we ordered and I asked the waitress to check into it for me, instead of bugging the guy while he served other people. It took the bartender until halfway through the meal to show up, and he still didnt have any change for me. I was kinda annoyed, he asked me "Did I give you any change?" and I of course said "No, you didn't". At this point I suspected he would go away and come back with change for me, instead he said "Would you like me to do something about that?" which, I suppose is a fair, if a little redundant question. I wouldnt exactly have asked about it if I didnt care after all. I told him I did want my change and we went away. Another 20 minutes went by and we were most of the way through the meal. At this point he finally showed up with my change, and I didnt notice it at the time, but he didnt even give me correct change. So ya, I wasnt pleased. In the end I gave our waitress (who was very good about taking care of both his mistake and serving our meal) both his tip and a decent tip for her own services. Moral of the story.... uhhhh... the service at Jack Astors in Kitchiner sucks....

So why the whole lengthy story about it, I am sure most of you are thinking "What's he talking about, Sean never complains about people or pipes up about it when he feels something is wrong". Which is true enough, I usually don't. However now that I am working it what is, essentially, a customer service oriented environment and position, I get quite annoyed when I am on the recieving end of bad customer service. So, if you are the type of person like myself, who usally keeps bad service to themselves, I encourage you to say something about it. Having been on both sides, it does no one any good if you dont say anything about bad service. It really just ends up countinuing otherwise. On the other hand, I also encourage people to say something when they get service better then they expected. It may seem kinda cheesy to some people, why should you compliment someone for just doing their job after all, but in all honesty it makes a huge diffrence. You probably have no idea if that person is having a particularly rough day and is still being kind and polite and professional to you. You probably wouldnt know that they might have a killer hang over from the party they went to last night, and yet they are not letting that interfere with being of good service to you. They may, for all you know, be working overtime at two jobs and are still working hard to make you smile and feel you went away with a good expeirence. Having to be a polite, professional, happy person all day long is very taxing, in fact it could be terrible from one instance to the next. Whether you be a person like me who could have spent 4 hours troubleshooting something, working hard and racking your brain all while the customer is yelling at you to just do what they want, not what they need and so on and so forth. Or in other cases, if you go from one table with a real ass to the next with a real gentlemen. Eitherway, you only have a brief amount of time to compose yourself, and you cant take away the feelings from the last customer and apply them to the next. That wouldn't be professional, and it wouldn't be fair. In any case, next time someone works hard to make your experience in their realm, whether it be technical support, lunch at a resturant, shopping in a store or any other of a thousand times a day that you deal with someone on a customer-server (for lack of a better word) basis remember a simple thank you is always appreicated. Espically if you felt they did very well and made you comfortable with the situation.

Well I suppose thats enough venting/rambling/lecturing for one week. Have a good one evreyone and dont forget... HAVE FUN!!!

W00T!!! Week 1, 2006 DONE!!!

2006-01-09T03:42:54Z

So, ladies and gents, the amazingness has occurred, I am keep my promise to write another entry a week later!!! Excellent!!! I remembered, GO ME!!! Okay, now that the self congradulations is done, moving forward.

It has actually been a pretty eventfull week for me, I started my new job, met people I hadnt seen in almost a decade, was back in Toronto AGAIN, and capped it off with some quaulity Magic playing, all in all, not a bad deal. I also learned a couple lessons, or, relearned at least. Which, I suppose, is almost as good.

Anyway, lesson relearned for the week: Dont reply to an email when you are angry, never a bad idea. Lesson learned for the week: Don't forget not to get ahead of one's self, it never works out in the end... So, without further babbling, lets start at the beginning and see where it takes us!

So the monday after I last posted. I headed back to Whitby, after coming back from Toronto (yes I am aware I should have just gone to Whitby in the first place, but its not my fault I was hung over and not thinking clearly) to see the Kingstons. Or, at least the elders of the family. A pleasure it was too, I havent seen them in nearly a decade, so it was nice to just say Hi and chat for a while. Turns out their children are all doing well, so I am happy for them there and like I said, it was just nice to see them again after so long. Since it's not really my life, I guess I wont get into things there so much, moving forward again!

So, Tuesday... My first day doing server support... Oih, I was just a little bit STRESSED!!!!! But, thankfully, my 8 months of prior experience held me in good stead, so even if I didnt know the answer I wasnt all panicked and knew what to do to figure things out. At least thats something. Stress, of course, would countinue for the rest of the week, but whatever I can deal with stress. Of course, as I tell evreyone, I dont beleave in Stress, so all I just said about stress wasnt true :P.

For the most part those are the highlights of the week. But I might as well explain the two lessons I learned. First lesson, the email. Right, anyway, Mom's computer was busted and she wanted me to come home and fix it this weekend. Which, of course, I agreed to do. Tuesday morning I recieved an email that I considered to be a touch over the top and exagerated, espicially since I had already agreed to come home. Basically the email explained how important things were and how much I needed to come home. I got annoyed, as I had already agreed to do that and couldn't change the fact that I was working for the rest of the week, even had I wanted to. Since I was annoyed, I left the email alone fully intending to reply to it the next morning (wednesday). Which I of course forgot to do. My own fault, no denying it, but whatever, at this point I had forgotten my annoyance and the email it self, still secure in the knowledge that I was going home Friday night. Thursday morning rolled around and I recieved another damn email. This time the email was a little more on the extreamist side, at least from my perspective. In anycase, I snapped back because I really didnt care to hear it at the time (the "non-existant" stress of the week had not yet fully bled off yet, and I didnt feel I needed more on my mind). After about an hour or so I had calmed down and sent an email to apologize. The matter was resolved and thus, no real harm. However, lesson learned, dont write an email when you are angry if it can be avoided.

The Second lesson of the week, dont get ahead of ones self, was spawned from the same computer issue. Which I, unknowingly, caused myself. I wont get into it, first because the non-tech people will find it boring and second because the tech people will laugh their collective asses off at me. Anyway, suffice to say, dont forget to check the connections, all the connections, before assuming there is something wrong with the hardware or software.

That about sums up the week. I have my second week of server support ahead, and I am feeling good about it. The magic games of the evening have me psyched for the Pre-Release tournament later this month!!! (yes, I am a geek in the extreame, say what you wish about it). If this week is setting the tone for the year, its going to be one hell of a ride. And you know what? I think I am going to like it that way!!!!!!!

Later Folks!

Sean

A Year in Review

2006-01-02T05:03:10Z

Greetings and Saluatations!

So, I sent a few people an email (or will be doing so after I finish writing this) on the basic princeple that I get asked reletively often about whats going on with my life. Here is your refrence point from now on (or at least I will try to make that happen)

I will write here once a week, if you are interested in what I am doing, have been up to or some such, then feel free to read away. If, like me, you consider my life dull and uneventfull, dont bother reading, its not going to hurt my feelings. For refrence, I honestly am not going to pay attention to who reads this. So I may put notes in here about stuff you may not want to know about (I am sure you can figure out what I mean by that, as you are all smart people)

Anyway, now that I have all the inroductory stuff out of the way, lets get on with the show.

Since it is currently (though only for another half hour) New Year's day, I figure a review of the previous year is in order. And what a year it has been for me as well.

To sum up my year I managed to accomplish...:

Silver Medal Technologist project (Which was marked with a 95% over all as I recall)
Graduated College (thank god)
Hired at RIM (OMFG!!! I Love that part!!!)
Promotion at RIM (WTF?!? What were they thinking!!!)
A month and half of special assignment at work (Again with the "WTF?!? What were they thinking!!!")
Highly enjoyable Christmas with the Family
And an great (though likely unhealthy) New Year's Eve

And those were just the highlights!!!

So, since we have got the sum up out of the way, those of you who didnt find that part interesting, now I get to go into details, so :P to you!

Alright, the Technologist Project! My pride and joy of my time at RCC. Never before have I felt such personal, academic and, in a way, professional achieviment. For those of you who dont know, myself and 3 others (all of whom are invited to visit here and deserver congradulations if you decide to comment) Designed, Devoloped, and Successfully Completed what I am going to know christen an OMMORPG (Online Massivly Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game). Yes I am aware that "Online" is in there twice, however it most defintly applies in this case. We managed to do what several people told us was impossible, we did it ahead of the schedule I thought we would be on, and we did it after losing our 5th group member (that can be blamed on myself, as it was my call). Further to this, like I said above, we earned the Silver Medal at our technologist showcase. How kick ass is that?!? In short, it made me very proud of myself, but more so the people I worked with!!! Defintly a once in a life time expeirence. If you care to check it out, the project can be found at "http://dndfree.mazibug.com" feel free to sign up for a user, I am pretty sure that Richard (our lead programmer) has taken an interest in devoloping it further, and I am sure he will do an excellent job!

Alrighty! Graduating College... What can I say about that........... hmmmmmm..... "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Feels appropriate, or perhaps "THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!" Either way, I think you get the point. I have never liked school, probably never will like school, and RCC did not help that opinion in any way shape or form! So, I dont think I need to say more on this topic.

RIM, ahhh, RIM! I love working for this company. For a geek like myself, you couldnt find a better company to work for. We get to be on the cutting edge of technology, we see things as they are happening, before most people even realize they are on the way. That alone is worth of my attention. But what makes it even better, the Company is a great place to be and work. The employees get treated with an awesome amount of respect. People are friendly and happy (most of the time) and, best of all, I have yet to have a problem with my employer. The amazing thing is, I am not really sure what direction things would have gone in if I hadnt gotten this job. Sure I am technically qualified for a lot of jobs, however, I am not good at looking for those jobs. So, all in all, lifesaver and great job all roled into one!

My Promotion!!! All I can say is WOW!!! I would have to say that I know at least 3-4 guys who deserved it more then I did, but lets not go there. Suffice to say I am nearly as happy with that as I was getting hired in the first place!!! Indeed, I would have to say that I am ecastic about it (by the way, no one is alowd to correct my spelling here!). This promotion was the first step in the majorly right direction for me, and I am glad to have gotten it!!!

Special assignment at RIM! YAY! This would have to be the high light of my professional year. I won't go into what I was doing too much, since I am not sure how public it is supposed to be. But I somehow got assigned to work in the department that I wanted to get to permantly!!! How cool is that!!! I also found out that I was selected, by people who I have a large amount of respect for, as one of the smarter people in my normal role. And one of the best suited for this assignment. Doesnt that just give you a nice warm fuzzy feeling... K, you can all stop starring at that last sentance now, I am aware it was creepy. Anyway, defintly a high point to my year!

Christmas with the Family! Always a good thing, Got evreything I could have asked for, and more, got to smile and laugh with people I am, of course, very close to. Got to annoy Mom, laugh with Dad, annoy Sister Person and... well, annoy Dad too. I suppose I did laugh with evreyone too. In anycase it kicked ass, and thats the best thing about it!

Finally, New Years. Defintly the weirdest New Year I have had in well... ever. For one simple reason. I made plans to go out with my Friends Jay and Marc. Guys I met at work and have devoloped a good friendship with. Anyway, Jay was the master planner of this whole thing and we went to his friends house for the whole event. The wierd part comes in to play there. It turns out that William (our host) knows my Father from work, which is a true oddity as far as I am concerned. So it may not seem weird to you people, but I was drunk at the time, so I can say things like this!!!

Anyway, those are the highlights of my year in review. Understandbly this is not all that happend to me in 2005, but it is defintly some of the best of what did.

So, two final notes. First, hopefully I wont run on for this long in future, after all I am planning to write something once a week. Second, come back next week if you care to find out how this year starts to unfold! Here's hoping that it is even better then the last one!!!

Sean

P.S. Of course, feel free to comment to your hearts content!!!